Must flood the emo posts below out.

God, till this day I'm reminded of the people who have died in December.

Everyday, I think about him. Every single day. How strange, because before, he was a stranger to my thoughts before he was diagnosed. My thoughts are just being haunted. I just wish I got to know him better. And I wish I got to tell her that she reminded me of my late grandma. But deep down, I know that they are reading this somehow.

It doesn't take all my strength not to dig up the people from the ground in which they lay... but it definitely takes all my strength to stop feeling sad because I can't let it affect me so strongly. It's taken me this long to even say the words, "dead" or "died". It's just so final to say that. I suppose everything you go through gives you experience. It doesn't matter what, as long as you grow past it, it's one more thing you can draw on and learn from.

I guess what I've learnt from this is I'm stronger now. I'm not a complete emotional wreck after all, since I felt normally. I felt sad, but I felt better after some time. I can go through sad things now without letting them affect me badly. I know I'm stronger now because I can deal with my emotions.

I'm... happy. I'm finally happy. I can smile again without second guessing if I'm actually feeling happy.

Thank You Lord, for answering my prayers. I still remember to this day how I felt at the beginning of Form 5 when I felt just slightly depressed and I feared I would slip back to my own ways. I looked at the sky, and asked You with little faith in myself, "Would I go back to my old ways?" and I saw the grey, gloomy clouds scatter to reveal the sun. It was You! You were trying to say, "No. You won't because you have me this time."

You too, have answered questions if Mass Comm. was the right path for me after I wrote the poem.


To life. To death. To faith. To God. To emotions.
Cheers.
- Fire ninja out.