Persecuted

Shawna/Nanalew's Open Letter to Egypt.


Before this video showed up on my sub box, I've already heard of Pastor Yousef and his possible death sentence. I heard about it on International Christian Concern (ICC) on Facebook. They share similar stories so that everyone, Christian or non-Christian could pray for them.

That was a while ago. I had forgotten about his possible persecution a month or less later. I prayed for help for Finals, naturally I felt gut awful when I saw this video and remembered that I forgot, although I remembered everything else.

I know it's only human nature to be self-centred, but it felt extremely selfish that I remembered of my exam and yet not a possible death. I'm starting to think I'm losing my mind, feeling horribly guilty about this. But I do.

Is this what we are? We make ourselves more important than people dying? Am I not a hypocrite? As I have often criticised those who knew more of their star's and favourite artistes' latest gossip than they did of current affairs, of millions dying of hunger somewhere on Earth, of people drowning to death by the hour.

I think I seem harsh on myself for no real reason but when I examine the details, with guilt somewhere in my heart, sadness and despair elsewhere; it seems well-deserved. I guess it's easier being angry at myself than to feel their despair.

I mean, how could I possibly continue to pray or ask for anything else less significant when death stares me in the face every which way I turn?

I cried watching this video. It is so sad knowing that we really can't do much except sit and pray... and wait. Have faith. And Pastor Yousef is only one of a lot of other Christians who have been, are currently, or may be caught for persecution. Two thousands years on and a lot still have not changed. It is sad knowing that they're desperate for help when all we can think about is ourselves.

Is it wrong that we often put ourselves first? I know the answer is no. Yet somehow this doesn't begin to calm any of my turbulent thoughts.


It really is easier being mad at myself than to even try to empathise.
- Fire ninja out.